Kyle MitchellProfessor EllingtonEng 101-22September 25, 2009I’m not going to write this EssayI’m not going to write this paper. Writing without interest or inspiration is damn near impossible. This paper is, in my eyes, worthless. I believe it is hard enough to write about something you care about, let alone something you do not. Writing to me is a chore. There is nothing fun about it at all. Agreed, certain writing is interesting, like instructions on how to install a standard transmission in an existing automatic’s place, however this paper is not. I will not write this paper for a slew of reasons. First off, it isn’t worth my time. Writing about nothing is worth just that, nothing. If I don’t care enough to put forward a valid attempt, why do you care? Why are you reading this? This is a waste of both of our times because right now, neither of us is interested in this project. It doesn’t matter to me what I write, because it doesn’t matter to you. Inspiration and determination come from ones interest in the given subject, which I usually have none. The fact of the matter is that if I don’t value what I write, what I write has no value. Surely this is my problem. I am stuck having to write an essay that is six pages long. I’m not going to write this paper not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t need to. I fail to see how me writing, or stretching if you will, a six page fabrication will help me in my degree, especially if no attention is being paid to grammar, punctuation, or spelling. A question pops to mind when considering my last point: why are we doing this? I’m wondering what your intentions are. I feel as though I am going to have to divide this complaint into a multiple paragraph work of art, or organize this entire rant into a well shaped, structured paper. Well if so I’m not going to do it. I’m not writing this paper just as I won’t write the next or the revision of this one for that matter. I guess I’m stuck of relevance. Why in a country that primarily speaks English must we be sentenced to numerous years of practice through grade school and then again in college? It especially bothers me that when we get to college, my professor (that’s you my dear) tells us to ignore all that we’ve learned from elementary, middle and high school and to just write. This bugs me because it seems like when being taught English its all in the teachers digression rather than written rule as to how you write. Every teacher says something is right and the other way is wrong. However there is some many rights and wrongs now that I don’t know the difference anymore. They say the English language is the hardest to learn and speak but I truly blame the instructors of the classes for that. If we could all agree on one type of format for essays, and form the same rules for grammar, punctuation and usage, I believe this so called “confusing” language wouldn’t be as difficult as we’re making it. In High school I had four different English teachers. That’s four different styles of grading, writing, and revising. That’s four different perspectives on what I am doing wrong, and rarely what I am doing right. I am not writing this essay because I am confused on whether or not I will do it correctly. Maybe what I will do is print out four of five versions and give them to all my past teachers and see how their opinions differ and contradict what I’ve learned so far. Maybe I can save myself the discouragement and just accept the fact that it doesn’t make sense anyway. I am so fed up with the English language, for now on I will speak Spanish only...Ok I’m back to English because I don’t know any Spanish. This brings up my next point. As long as when I graduate I’m not writing my S’s backwards or using weather instead of whether, does all this formality really matter to the common man? Is my boss going to approach me and say “I need a summary or all ice cream sales over the last year in MLA format, Times New Roman size 12 font, double spaced, no less than four pages, with a works cited, footnotes, parenthetical citations and a proper header and heading”? Or is my friend Matt going to call me and ask me to hang out, and when I ask “who is going to be there”, is he going to respond with, “don’t you mean whom”? No. This is a total waste of our time. Because the fact of the matter is, when are we going to use this after college? Sure if we all were to become famous authors and essay writers who debated upon global warming, and the absence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, but lets face it, we’re not that good. I’m not only not writing this paper because I disagree with you, understand. I’m not writing it because I disagree with the entire system. Political correctness has simply taken over our World, and we are expected to abide by it entirely. It is damn impossible to write a perfect essay, because someone somewhere will find a fault. These ties in with the argument I make earlier. I’ll call it the imperfect theory, meaning regardless of what you write or how you write it there will always be fault in it. There will always be something wrong internally that someone somewhere will complain about. Another common problem with the English system is that most teachers see quality in quantities. There is nothing I understand less than when a teacher hands out a paper assignment and also assigns a set amount of pages the writing must be. My favorite English teacher from my senior year in high school seemed to be the only one who saw eye to eye with me on this. He said I’d rather have a paper that is ¾ of a page and excellent than a paper that is four pages and full of fluff and fill. Quality is always better than quantity regardless of what the situation is. Those who put a set length on a paper because that is what is expected in wrong in every way. It is hard to fulfill the desired space without repeating yourself or becoming redundant. The general essay contains three points, an introduction, and a conclusion, or so I’ve been told. The fact of the matter is, it is very difficult to stretch three points into five, just as its hard to spread two pages into six. Eventually you end up repeating yourself and proving points that you’ve already set out to prove. An essay should be full of facts and not a bunch of fill to make the teacher happy. If I am writing about the advances of the United States military on Normandy’s beaches in 1944, It is understood that I stay on topic and try not to start talking about how many Jeeps that landed we made in America, and how many were made in Europe. This is simply because it doesn’t matter to the reader who is solely interested in the invasion of the allied forces. I not writing this essay might affect my grade, this I am well aware of, however I have a strong feeling those who did write it will actually suffer. I believe you will make those who gave in and complied, learn through humility by making their neighbors proof read their papers, or having them presented in the front of the room. I will not endure this humility and surely won’t be embarrassed in front of a class of well qualified and intelligent people just because you want me to learn from my mistakes. Also understand that I am well aware that I am not to use the word “you” in an essay of this structure, which is good thing that I am not actually writing this paper. At this time in my paper I am without words. I have proved all my points previously and my rough draft is exhausted. I am truly happy with the points that I have made in the beginning of this piece for I believe I hold many beliefs in which most people are afraid to express. I am not. I will always say what is on my mind when it comes to inequality and unjust reasoning. It is easy to see how and why English classes around the country are dreaded, because they’re disheartening. I can stay up late, after work some night and finish a paper I believe strongly in and take pride in only to receive poor marks on it when I get it back. This certainly makes one feel worthless and unaccomplished because here is a paper you just worked on for numerous hours, yet you still received a poor grade on. I will compare this to communism. As we all know, communists don’t get paid as we do here in America. They live based on a shared and equal attitude. Everyone makes the same and everyone shares what they make. Food is “assigned” to you, which seems like a well off program because then nobody is hungry. The unfortunate disadvantage to communism is, if we all work our hands to the bone and really stride to make a quality product, we get the same wage as if we had made a lousy product. If I am on an assembly line making automobiles working as hard as I can, whereas my coworker is not holding up his end of the bargain, why should I continue to kill myself? This same theory goes for writing a paper. Why would I kill myself to write a paper well, when my last one that I worked just as hard on failed miserably? The incentive to stride to do better dies along with my grade point average. So where does this leave us? Discouraged, defeated, and unwilling to stride to do better. It all comes back to what I said earlier. Quality is always better than quantity. I know that under revision, I will cut most of this out and my six pages of raging glory will turn into three pages of a well structured work of art that will dazzle critics and get me into any prestigious school that I want to. Besides the fact that I just spelt prestigious so wrong that the spell checker didn’t recognize it is beyond the problem. The problem is that I am attending Sussex County Community College and my professor just assigned the most aggravating, confusing, annoying, yet intriguing assignment I’ve ever been handed. I am being told to use methods of writing that go against the methods I’ve been taught throughout my life. I am sitting here on the computer thinking about how much I would rather be doing anything else in the World right now than writing this paper. I am complaining to my siblings about how much I have to write and how I am simply out of ideas. I am thinking about all the real work I will have to put into this once again tomorrow, following your syllabus reading “revisions”. I am not writing this paper. Obviously by now you know that I am being ironic by expressing how I am not going to write this paper. Obviously you now know that I have almost completed this paper in full. However I still feel an ounce of pride. I stuck to my topic and proved points that may otherwise have been looked over. I stuck by my topic, regardless of how ridiculous it seemed and made even you reconsider some things (don’t lie we both know I’ve changed your perspective on something). However regardless of how proud I am of this paper and how strong headed I feel right now, I still feel just as strong now about my argument as I did when I started writing it by hand 2 weeks ago. I feel like I have shed light on a dark corner. I also feel like I am starting to repeat myself because I am rambling on and on. However my dear, you wanted six pages so you are getting six pages. I am proud that my paper will offer the most diverse topic in which you did not expect. You told me that I could write about anything and I decided to test that. Throughout the last six pages I have expressed to you my innermost thoughts on the problems with the English language and the instructors who teach it. I have showed you the imbalance between teachers and the near impossibility of creating a prefect writing piece. On the first day you asked us why we hate writing with no responses. We hate writing because it feels like our teachers hated our writing, which they probably did. After sustaining all the hardship and let downs over the years of middle and high school it is hard for us to be encouraged to write. I feel like with the constant hounding of writing research papers and turning in book reports on time, we should be expected to hate writing. We should expect to not want to write, and regret what we have written. You should expect to have to twist our arms to get us to write. We have been tainted with slavery through writing and forced to comply to each of our teachers standards. I am worn out. I do want to pose a challenge, however. I want to challenge you to try to make writing interesting for me in the forthcoming semester. I challenge you to try to challenge me while understanding my points of view on writing in general. How about an essay where the idea is totally derived from ourselves rather than you? Or a paper about something we actually care about rather than something we simply do not. That, is a paper I am willing to write.