PowerPoint Presentation : Conflict Management
PowerPoint Presentation : Conflict – Symbolic of a house on fire Extinguish immediately or the marriage house will burn down
PowerPoint Presentation : Conflict has a voice: Emergency in the relationship. The fire alarm in the “marriage house” is blazing! The relationship is crying out loud for immediate attention; The relationship is temporary out of order; Fellowship is on hold; Communion needs to be restored; Communication is cold and frigid; Commitment is on intermission; Friendship is out of alignment; Compassion and understanding are on pulse; Physical, emotional and sexual intimacy are on respite; The chain link connecting us is broken and the missing link needs to be reattached in the relationship; Temper is out of order; Love has a band-aid and it needs a healing balm; There is an open door that needs to be shut right away. Resolve differences or the marriage house will not burn down in divorce court!
PowerPoint Presentation : Vacant “Marriage House” Burnt by “Conflict Fire” Vacant house - symbolic of isolated relationship, absentee husband and wife…anyone one home? Broken Doors and windows - symbolic lack of boundaries, lack of prayer and spiritual covering Shattered windows -symbolic of Shaky foundation infested by pest, rodent, spiders, roaches, snakes symbolic of demonic activities Neither cared enough to put out the conflict fire! Who will put out your conflict fire?
PowerPoint Presentation : James 4:1-3 1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
PowerPoint Presentation : James 1:14-15: But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
PowerPoint Presentation : ORINGINAL PORTRAIT, PERSONALITY OF Bill ORINGINAL PORTRAIT, PERSONALITY OF BECKY Like an blank label
PowerPoint Presentation : BECKY’S MENTAL PORTRAIT/PERSONALITY/TRAIT OF Bill Too quiet/reserved. hardly communicates Style of Clothes outdated Old fashioned, hardly romantic Does not demonstrate love Introvert Controlling Evasive Thrifty Complainer Unromantic Uptight Cold Distant
PowerPoint Presentation : BILL’S MENTAL PORTRAIT/PERSONALITY/TRAIT OF BECKY Talks too much/hardly listens Too emotional Nags Shopaholic Slightly obese Disrespects and resist submission Extrovert Controlling Bad cook Very demanding
PowerPoint Presentation : I want Becky to change. Meaning - Hoping that she will change on his own, voluntarily I want Bill to change.Meaning- hoping that he will change on his own, voluntarily There is conflict in the marriage. Individual differences is tearing Bill and Becky apart Bill and Becky feel lonely, isolated, and rejected because each is living below expectations Each is not meeting needs Make any necessary adjustment Voluntarily do the right thing Out of frustration, each makes a desperate move to change the other
PowerPoint Presentation : Put bill and her picture here backing each other or sitting apart Bill is so so stubborn. He will never change on his own. And the Lord is not helping either. He seems too slow coming through for me. Since Bill will not change voluntary, I have to step in and grab the bull by the horns ! Becky will not change. She drives me nuts!I’ve got to calm my nerves, do something to force her to change before I go hay wire.
PowerPoint Presentation : Becky’s Mental Portrait of Bill New and improved Bill (Her expectations of Bill) put against her silhouette mindset Make me feel lovable Extrovert Romantic Meet emotional needs Love and accept me Communicate more and share feelings Open/transparent Be more attentive Easy going Relax In the shadows, Little by little, traits begins to fade away. No longer self Gets smaller and smaller
PowerPoint Presentation : Bill’s Mental Portrait of Becky New and improved Becky (His expectations of Becky)put against her sillohette mindset Nothing wrong, but the way wee go at it Talk less/listen more Submissive Appreciative Meet sexual needs Introvert Lose weight Cook well Spend less Honor and accept me Be more like me Leave me alone Give me peace of mind
PowerPoint Presentation : Method employed to effect change / Tools/Paraphernalia of change. Anger -to intimidate or instill fear Nagging/Complaining Put up walls Silent treatment Self imposed illness/fatigue Verbal and physical abuse Demanding love
PowerPoint Presentation : Physical/verbal abuse Crying/fake depression Trade by wheedle Withhold sex, affection, money, resources Begging for love To compensate for pain. Real, false threat/automaton “If you don’t change behavior, I will take so and so action”. “If you do this, I will leave. “ “If you leave me, I will kill myself”” Makes the other person more defiant and resistive
PowerPoint Presentation :
PowerPoint Presentation : Examine and align responses, character, mindset, thoughts, emotions, intellect, will, choices, deeds to conform to the word of God. God expects us to place self on the x-ray/silhouette/ microscope of the scripture and use it to confront and judge self, not others. Bill and Becky’s on X-ray/Silhouette of the Scriptures
PowerPoint Presentation : GOD Though the husband and wife are equal partners, the man is the head of the home is the Supreme Head Symbol of a Covenant Marriage God’s Marriage Model
PowerPoint Presentation : God’s Purpose of Marriage ( My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6a) God Purpose of Marriage Ignorance/Abuse of God’s Purpose of Marriage Fulfill His will on earth For companionship. (Genesis 2:18). Be fruitful (Genesis John 15:16) Multiply and replenish the earth (Genesis 1:28)
PowerPoint Presentation : Have dominion (Genesis 1:28) Encourage and lift up each other Sharpen each other like iron sharpens iron( ) Grow and mature (Isaiah 28:9; Hebrews 5:11-14)
PowerPoint Presentation : Husband’s Role Ephesians 5:25-29 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
PowerPoint Presentation : Ephesians 5:22-24 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. Wife’s Role
PowerPoint Presentation : Conflict, abuse, and chaos becomes inevitable GOD becomes Second fiddle Wife becomes his doormat and rules over her Husband’s abuse of role Husband assumes the supreme role of God
PowerPoint Presentation : When wife is controlling and domineering, husband becomes defiant, evasive, cold, and distant. Husband becomes her doormat and rules over him God becomes second fiddle Wife’s abuse of role Wife offsets husband’s position and becomes the supreme head
PowerPoint Presentation : God is tossed at the bottom of the relationship His wife is contending for his position The husband is fighting to keep his position as the head Marriage becomes a war zone and the children begins to dodge bullets because they are caught in the cross fire of conflict. God
PowerPoint Presentation : MARRIAGE/CONFLICT FIRE STARTERS Conflict triggers/open doors to conflict. When you are engaged in any of these, you are gathering wood, preparing to start a marriage fire. · Unrealistic expectations, unmet expectations · Misconceptions, Illusions, blind sports · Fear, Insecurities, Suspicious; Doubts, Distrust · Selfishness, Self-Centeredness · Pride, anger, stubbornness, Self-Righteousness, Greediness · Bitterness, Contempt, resentment · Alcohol, substance abuse, sexual perversion, infidelity, addictions and other life defeating habits · Discontentment, Ingratitude, Disappointments · Unresolved issues, lack of boundaries, unhealed wounds · Baseless accusations, misunderstanding, impatience
PowerPoint Presentation : You Ignite a marriage fire when: Y ou abuse marital roles The husband does not act as the head of his home or love his wife unconditionally The wife does not submit or honor her husband Both husband and wife are self-centered Both husband and wife drives God out of their relationship
PowerPoint Presentation : Barriers to conflict resolution Pride/ Bitterness The need to retaliate Shifting Responsibility Waiting for the other person to initiate reconciliation Waiting for feelings or emotions to prompt reconciliation Hoping things will work themselves out
PowerPoint Presentation : Proverbs 13:10: Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice Proverbs 11:2: When pride comes, then disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom
PowerPoint Presentation : Matthew 7:1-5: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own
PowerPoint Presentation : Proverbs 23:7a For as he thinks in his heart, so is he Matthew 9:29 According to your faith let it be to you. Matthew 12:37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
PowerPoint Presentation : Romans 8:8;13 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger
PowerPoint Presentation : Adding more gasoline video
PowerPoint Presentation : Romans 14:7-8 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. 8 If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
PowerPoint Presentation : 2 Corinthians 5:15 He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
PowerPoint Presentation : Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back
PowerPoint Presentation : Acts 20: 35b It is more blessed to give than to receive.
PowerPoint Presentation : 1 Corinthians 4:7 For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?
PowerPoint Presentation : Resolve conflict for the children sake video
PowerPoint Presentation : The following 7 slides are symbolic of Wrong arsenals used to fight conflict fire
PowerPoint Presentation : Unwholesome words are like snake Vernon. When i njected into a relationship, it becomes toxic.
PowerPoint Presentation : Unresolved anger is a “volcano” waiting to erupt in the relationship. Unresolved anger is a “volcano” waiting to erupt in the relationship.
PowerPoint Presentation : Exhibiting bitterness is firing “bullets” to spite a mate
PowerPoint Presentation : Malice is like a secret “land mine”hidden to entrap a mate.
PowerPoint Presentation : Physical or emotional withdrawal is a “ticking time bomb” waiting to explode in divorce court
PowerPoint Presentation : Control and manipulation are like missiles released to demoralize a spouse.
PowerPoint Presentation : Withholding love, affection, sexual intercourses are all arsenals of mass destruction that will eventually annihilate a marriage relationship in divorce court.
PowerPoint Presentation : I will not cooperate with the devil or be used by him to: Start a conflict fire Set my own marriages on fire! Burn down my marriage house. Wherever there is conflict fire in my home, I will not be the gasoline that will keep the fire ablaze! Instead, I will be the water that will extinguish it. I am a conflict fire fighter, not a conflict fire starter! Before any fire starts in my life, home, or marriage, I will extinguish it with “Truth” in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
PowerPoint Presentation : Right arsenals to fight conflict fire You cannot fight fire with fire. Become the water that will put out the conflict fire in the marriage. How? Respond with compassion and forgiveness. Disarm anger with tolerance. Instead of walking on eggshells, walk in obedience, truth, and in the freedom that you have in Christ. Rather than put up emotional walls, put up healthy boundaries. Rather than shift responsibly, accept responsibility. Rather than consciously withhold love, intentionally release unconditional love to dispel fear and your insecurities will melt away
PowerPoint Presentation : Reconciliation Altar
PowerPoint Presentation : God When you remain stubborn; unforgiving ; self-righteous; demanding controlling; cold; manipulative; evasive; fault finding; angry; resentful; verbally/physically abusive; and emotionally and physically distant, you are pleasing yourself, not God! You are fanning the flames of the conflict fire! It will burn down the marriage house in divorce court. THE PITFALL? You and your partner will never reconcile or find the middle ground God will not meet you in your corner. You must repent and meet God at the center Focus on Pleasing God, not Self Accept Responsibility for your Part and Repent
PowerPoint Presentation : Use Truth to Bring the Two Sides Together Come to a compromise Harmonize your differences Genuinely forgive each other Opt for a cease fire and find the middle ground for peace’s sake. Negotiate and be willing to sacrifice for the growth of the relationship
PowerPoint Presentation : Healing brings us together so we can continue to fellowship, commune, and trust again. Reach for Forgiveness and Emotional Healing
PowerPoint Presentation : ? Take the initiative and reach out! By initiating reconciliation; you are: Pleasing God, not self; Giving the devil a black eye; Disarming the other person’s anger, pride, and defenses; Extinguishing the conflict fire What happens if my mate is not willing to meet me half way?