Self-Control Starts With You

Chapter One Self-Control Starts With You Note To The Teacher elf-control is essential to character development. In fact, it is the foundation upon which all other positive traits are built. The need to teach self-control has become critical, especially as we see the ever increasing amounts of disrespectful behavior in the classroom, behavior that disrupts both teaching and learning. S It is vital for students to learn that as they mature it is their responsibility to control how they behave and interact. No longer is it the sole responsibility of those in authority to control their behavior, because as young adults they are now accountable for their own actions. Other concepts covered in this lesson are: • How morality applies to self-control. • The role of self-control in the development of other positive character traits. • Developing self-control begins with controlling negative thoughts. As educators and role models, we have the unique opportunity to fully prepare our students for the future by providing them with both academic skills and character education. This combination will ensure that they are not only capable of reaching all their goals, but that they will also be morally responsible adults who have respect for themselves and for others. cLesson Plan Self-Control Starts With You PURPOSE/OBJECTIVE Students will learn what self-control is and why it is important. They will also learn that controlling their thoughts is an important part of practicing self-control. MATERIALS R Students’ handbooks PROCEDURE 1. Review the previous units on “Character” and “Acceptance” by asking students the following questions: a. Why is it important to develop a positive moral character? (Developing a positive moral character builds stability within a person, allowing one to make right choices and have success in life.) b. Do you have control over every aspect of your life? (No.) c. Why is it important to focus on the things in your life you can control?(So you can develop your full potential in those areas and become a better person.) 2. Introduce students to this new unit of The Peaceful Solution Character Education Program called Self-Control. Explain that they will learn what self-control is and why it is important. They will also learn that controlling their thoughts is an important part of practicing self-control. Instruct students to turn to page 3 and read the “Introduction” followed by “The Question Of The Day…” found on page 4. Emphasize to students that self-control is based on moral principles that will help them conduct themselves properly. Have students continue reading “Rewind And Review” found on page 4. Stress to students that everyone in society needs to practice self-control in order to live peacefully together. Explain that crime is only one eexample of a lack of self-control. Allow students time to discuss other ways that lack of self-control affects society. 3. Emphasize to students that because self-control is so important to society, it is the first step of character development. Instruct students to read “The Importance Of Self-Control” found on page 8 and “Self-Control Develops Other Traits” found on page 10, and complete the exercises at the bottom of the page. Discuss answers with the class. Stress to students the importance of practicing self-control in order to develop other positive character traits. 4. Explain to students that it is not enough just to understand the importance of self-control. They will now be taught how to practice self-control. Tell students that they can consciously begin to develop self-control by learning to control their thoughts. Stress that thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions. Instruct students to read the section entitled “Guard Your Mind” found on page 11. Allow time for students to share their answers. 5. Have students read the sections “Be Your Own Best Critic—Not Your Worst” and “It’s Not Just About You, Control The Way You Think About Others” found on pages 12,14. Explain to students that negative thoughts can lead to poor choices and a lack of respect for themselves and others. Encourage students to keep their minds functioning at an optimal level by focusing on thoughts that can build a positive moral character. 6. Stress to students that as they learn to control their thoughts about themselves and others, they need to understand the role choices play in practicing self-control. Instruct students to turn to pages 16-19, read the section entitled “It’s A Matter Of Choice” and complete the exercises. Emphasize that self-control means taking the time to weigh all the options and make the best possible, morally acceptable decision. 7. Tell students you are going to give them a tool to help them remember to practice self-control. Write the letters of the word STOP vertically on the board. Instruct students to read the section entitled “Putting It All Together” found on page 21. Have students complete the activity found on pages 22-23. Tell students this will allow them to practice recognizing negative thoughts and practice self-control in order to avoid negative feelings and actions. f8. Conclude the lesson by having students turn to page 24 in their handbooks and read the section, “What I Have Learned.” Tell students that they are now accountable for their actions. It is up to each of them to remember to practice self-control in every aspect of their lives. gNote To The Student ave you ever been told that you could do whatever you wanted to do, even if it meant hurting yourself, others or property? The likelihood is no, because even from a small child you have been taught that you cannot do whatever you want to do, and that you must consider how your actions affect yourself and others. Your parents, grandparents, teachers and other significant adults were the ones who guided and instructed you in the right way to behave toward others. H When you think about it, life is filled with instructions. Can you recall being told not to grab a toy from a playmate, to think about how your actions make others feel, or to be careful how you play to avoid hurting yourself? These instructions and many more were instrumental in helping you to develop the important character trait of self-control. The ability to stop, think and decide on options that will not bring harm to yourself or others is probably one of the first character traits that you were taught to develop. In this unit, you will learn more about how self-control is developed and why it is essential to a positive moral character. Other concepts that will be covered in this unit are: • Why self-control begins with the way you think. • What emotions are and why learning to control them is important. • How to use self-control to determine what negative influences are. • How to resolve conflicts and manage anger using self-control. • How society can prevent the contamination of our environment by controlling their actions. Now that you are maturing, it is up to you to learn to develop and practice self-control without direct supervision from adults. Let’s face it, you are growing up and becoming more independent. Therefore, it is up to you to be responsible for the choices you make, how you behave, and how you treat others. Developing self-control and learning to make choices that are both positive and moral will enable you to lead a life of success, satisfaction and peace. 1“The only person you can control is yourself. Do It To The Very Best Of Your Ability” ~The Peaceful Solution Chapter One Self-Control Starts With You Introduction ow you think about yourself and others, how you handle your emotions, and whether or not you study for your midterms, all hinge upon your ability to practice self-control. In this unit of The Peaceful Solution Character Education Program, you will learn that self-control is one of the many traits that help to build positive character. It plays a major role in how we treat ourselves, interact, accomplish goals and function within society. H If you have ever witnessed a toddler having a tantrum, then you are aware of how a lack of self-control can be demonstrated. This toddler has not yet learned how to deal with his feelings of disappointment and frustration, so he resorts to throwing himself on the floor, screaming, kicking and crying. As people mature and grow, they generally move past the stage of kicking and screaming if their needs are not met. However, unless people learn how to control their thoughts and manage their feelings, they will display a lack of self-control in many other ways. For example, disrespect, violence, aggression, premarital sex, drug and substance abuse are all ways in which individuals display a lack of self-control towards themselves and others. In this first chapter you will learn what self-control is and why it is an important trait for everyone to acquire and practice on a consistent basis. You will also learn that developing self-control begins with controlling your thoughts and making choices that are positive and moral. Self-control is the most important character trait you can develop because it applies to all aspects of your life and is the foundation of a positive character. 3The question of the day... WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL? Self-Control is: y Controlling (that is, guiding or directing) what you think, because thoughts lead to feelings. y Controlling what you feel, because feelings lead to actions. y Controlling how you behave, because decisions lead to actions which lead to rewards or consequences. Self-control is the foundation of moral behavior. When you practice self-control you stop and carefully consider whether your thoughts and feelings will lead to actions that are morally correct and in your best interest. Rewind And Review Learning to develop and practice self-control on a consistent basis and in all situations is a long-term process. The first step in understanding self-control is to explore how it relates to morality. In the unit on Character you learned about morality and how to develop a positive moral character. Morals are rules that help us behave in ways that are appropriate, caring and thoughtful of others and ourselves. They are universal in that most people, regardless of nationality or ethnicity, agree with and uphold them. Moral values define your character and your ability to control yourself. A person with moral values distinguishes between right and wrong and makes choices that will cause no harm to himself or others. Immoral values, on the other hand, lead to inappropriate behavior that is disrespectful, inconsiderate and even dangerous. One having immoral values tends to develop enemies. Crime, violence and abuse all stem from immoral values. The following is a review of what it means to be a person with a high moral character regarding people, property and the environment: PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE n your decision and your interactions with othershe use of true moral values, you accept and apprecireect tate that everyone has the right to live in peace, safety and security. You can demonstrate a moral attitude by being respectful to all people. This means not taking advantage of others, but showing them compassion and consideration. Immoral values reflected in your decision and interactions with others result in behavior that belittle and hurt both emotionally and physically. Name-calling, teasing, bullying and discriminating can cause others to feel inferior. Verbally or physically hurting yourself or others or even just displaying an aggressive or violent attitude are sure signs of a lack of self-control. Did you know that, in addition to displaying an immoral attituSTDsde towards others, individuals could also display this same attitude towards themselves? Choices that involve risk-taking behavior such as premarital sex, and drug and alcohol abuse are examples of ways in which millions of people devalue their own lives. This behavior is the leading cause of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), degeneration of the mind and health, all of which can lead to death. 5What’s Mine Is Mine moral attitude regarding property means to respecpthem without fear of their belongings being stolen or damaged. To demonstrate a moral attitude towards the possessions of others, you must refrain from touching or taking someone’s belongings without their permission. Not asking the owner his permission before taking or touching his belongings is called stealing. This leads to serious consequences, as you will explore later in this unit. Morality regarding property also means not damaging or destroying someone’s property, as in the case of vandalism or graffiti. This is also a form of stealing. Damaging or destroying the property of others deprives them of the right to use their belongings. Handleiples can also be applied to the environwe care for it. We need air, water, plants and animals to survive and all of these things make up our environment. When we do our part to care for our environment, by not polluting the earth with litter or using harsh man-made chemicals that contaminate our land, water supply and atmosphere, we are demonstrating regard for all life. 6O Why do I need to hav ou can control your thoughts, feelings and actionmbottom line is, you cannot do just anything you want to do. You must always have control over what you are thinking and feeling so that your words and actions will be appropriate. In fact, not only do you need to have self-control, but everyone needs to have self-control as well. When was the news or read the newspaper? Have you noticed how many reports of murder, child molestations, domestic violence, assaults (physically abusing someone) and thefts are reported daily? When even a few people within our society lack self-control, the results are crime, fear, anxiety and hatred. STOP AND HINK What are other ways a lack of self-control affects society today? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ how their actions affect others.” 7elf-control is needed in every situation. You nwhether you are alone or interacting with others Swork, and even when you’re having fun. Self-control enables you to speak and behave appropriately regardless of the choices that are placed before you or the situation that you are in. In fact, self-control is so important that it is probably one of the first character traits that you were taught how to develop. Can you recall your parents reminding you not to touch something because it was hot, not to run around the room because you could fall, and not to touch someone else’s belonging because it wasn’t yours? As a child, it was the job of your parents and teachers to help you to develop self-control by instructing and reminding you about appropriate behavior. What other instructions are childrpositive trait of self-control? Li 1.__________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ 2.3.__________________________________________________________ 8Nkand teachers to remind you of proper behavior. You should now be able to distinguish between right and wrong. In other words, you are now accountable for: ! the decisions you make ! how you treat others Even though you have been develogpractice self-control of your own free will. Keep in mind that if you have to be forced or constantly reminded to follow an instruction then you are not practicing self-control. It is important to understand that self-control is about what you do and the choices you make, especially when you are not under the direct supervision of adults. Self-control must come from within you and must be practiced consistently. You must be willing to guide and direct yofeelings and actions at all times. For example, if you are honest one day, but dishonest the next, then you are not consistently practicing self-control to maintain the character trait of honesty. If you are respectful to adults while in their presence, but disrespectful when they are not around, then you are not consistently practicing self-control to maintain the character trait of respect. Consistency and self-control go hand-in-hand. Self-control is what you do when no one is watching. As you will see later on in this unit, people who allow themselves to lose control, even once, could find themselves in situations they regret for life. Everyone has areas in theibenefit em. organized or to manage their anger better. In what areas of your life can practicing self-control benefit you? List three ways on the lines below. 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ____________________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________________ 9Self-Control Develops Other Traits ontrol is the foundation of a cts you, the easiest thing to do aits at can be developed if you have self-control. Consider the traits of _____________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ eveloping and practicing self-control will enable you to develop many other positive traits. Self-cpositive character. For example, it takes self-control to be responsible. Responsible people complete all tasks to the best of their ability. They are willing to make sacrifices to fulfill their obligations. Rather than neglecting their duties, responsible people stop and consider what needs to be done. Then they make a positive choice to fulfill their obligations to the best of their ability. It also takes self-control to be respectful especially when someone is not respecting you. If someone disrespeDwould be to get even, and disrespect them in return. However, taking revenge is not showing self-control. Self-control means to stop and consider that retaliation will lead to more disrespect, hate and animosity where you, the other person, or even an innocent bystander could get hurt. By becoming a person who has self-control you will be able to consider all of these things, then make a choice not to take revenge. Responsibility and respect are only two of the many character trthcompassion, humility and patience. Write a brief description explaining how self-control can be used to help develop these three important traits. Compassion_________________________________________________________________ Humility____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ Patience____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 10other key concept in developing self-control is to be awars. It is very easy to say, “I just did it. I wasn’t thinking.” But the truth is, we are always thinking. Thoughts enter our minds at the speed of light. Thoughts about ourselves, others, things we need to accomplish, and things we want. These thoughts then lead to feelings, which in turn can lead to behavior. It is no surprise that sad thoughts make you feel sad. So, how do people act when they feel sad? Many people mope, or cry, some even isolate themselves from friends and family. Your thoughts are powerful; do not underestimate the effect your thoughts can have on your feelings and your behavior. It is up to you to determine if your thoughts can help you build your character or if they can lead tothoughts flow in and out of our minds, we have the power to control what thoughts we focus on and what thoughts we let go. People who focus on negative thoughts about themselves and others or about the things they want to do are setting themselves up to fail and to engage in behavior that they will eventually regret. So, how do you know if your thoughts are positive or negative? Ask yourself if they are harmful in any way. Positivethoughts uphold true moral principles and will not cause you to bring harm to yourself or others. Negative thoughts, on the other hand, pave the way for destructive behavior. They are hateful, revengeful and selfish. So guard your mind by distinguishing between positive and negative thoughts. Consider the types of feelings and actions your thoughts can lead to. You aonly one whocan control what you think. So choose your thoughts carefully. did you react? Write a short description explaining what occurred. ____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 11BE YO “You are the only one who can control you. Make sure you do the best job you can.” Control The Way You Think About You e you ever heard the saying, “You’re your own worst ost of us are. We can really put ourselves down, esWwhen we act in a way that is disappointing. Although it is okay to be disappointed with our actions when we know we could have made a better choice, it is not okay to continually belittle our worth as human beings. If you become disappointed with yourself examine the thoughts and feelings that led you to act in a certain way. Then focus your thoughts on what you need to change in order to make better choices. Thoughts like, “I’m so stupid. I can’t do anything right” or “It always wrong,” are self-defeating. They will not help you to change or improve. The danger in thinking negatively about yourself is that after awhile you begin to believe it. If you believe that you can’t do anything right, then you will put forth no effort in making right decisions. You will continue to repeat the ame negative behavior. People who get into the habit of thinking negatively rimenting with risk-taking behavior such as premarital and even crime. They tend to have an “I have nothing to so I might as well do whatever” attitude. In a study done on former drug and alcohol abusers, a common thread was found. These persons all reported having negative thoughts about themselves and their abilities. This left them feeling as if their lives were worthless and that they were failures. Self-control is learning to control the way you think about yourself. By examining or critiquinyourself, you are practicing self-control. On the other hand, when you persist in thinking about yourself in a negative way and make no attempt to change your behavior, you are not practicing self-control. You are being your own worst critic. Once you are down on yourself it is really easy to stay down and continue to wallow in negative thoug 12“You wouldn’t consider someone as a friend whout you down and called ou names. So don’t do thisto yourself.” 13It’s Not Just About You Control The Way You Think About Others Having negative thoughts about others can be just as dangerous as having negative thoughts about yourself. Negative thoughts about others come from a variety of sources. Sometimes people do things that “get under your skin.” They may frustrate you because you perceive their actions as unfair or mean. Thoughts like, “He’s so stupid,” or “I hate her, she’s such a jerk” are only some examples of negative thoughts about others. Without self-control, thoughts like these have the potential to lead to violent behavior because they desensitize you to the fact that all people, even the ones who annoy you, are to be respected. Negative thoughts that lead to physical or verbal abuse do not show care and concern, neither do they solve conflicts. In fact, they will only create bigger problems. It is up to you to control your thoughts about others so that you can interact with compassion and empathy. This means to have care and concern regarding another’s physical, mental and emotional well-being. It takes a lot of self-control to direct your thoughts away from how someone is treating you, and focus instead on what you can do to solve your differences, but it can be done. There will be an entire chapter on how to positively resolve conflicts so that they do not result in violence and aggression. For now, remember that aggressive behavior stems from negative thoughts and it is up to you to control how you think about others. “Have thoughts about others that you would be willing to share openly.” 14Think About It! Because your mind is your most powerful tool, the one needed for all tasks, it must be properly cared for if it is to function at its best. Think of it like this: your job is to build a house, but your saw is useless because it has been left out in the rain. Having rusted, it is now too dull to cut the wood. Negative thoughts have the potential to affect your mind in much the same way that rain can corrode metal. Negative thoughts wear away your ability to make choices that are moral and respectful to yourself and others. Straight Talk An important part of developing self-control is learning to think in a way that promotes true moral values and is respectful towards yourself and others. Positive thoughts encourage you to build your character and to continually strive towards excellence. Positive thoughts about others remind you that, as human beings, they are worthy of respect. You do not have to resort to thinking negatively about someone because he or she has hurt your feelings and has been unkind to you. Thinking negative thoughts about that individual will not solve the problem. It will only cause resentment and hate. As you will see later on in this unit, resentment and hate can be a deadly combination. It’s A Matter Of Choice he next important step in developing self-control is understanding the role of choices in the way you think, feel and act. A choice is the power to make a selection between one or more options. Every day you make choices. You choose which thoughts to focus on and which to let go. You choose to get up in the morning and what you will eat for breakfast, or even if you will eat breakfast. T Some options in life are harmless and have no significant consequences. For example, it doesn’t matter if you choose to wear your red sweater or your blue sweater to school. The color of your sweater will not cause harm to you or someone else. Some choices however, are major and can lead to serious consequences. For example, the choice to experiment with drugs can impair your ability to think clearly and logically and can lead to addiction. “Be careful of the choices you make. Some choices you will only get to make once.” 16Choices or options can basically be placed into two categories: negative or positive. Here are a few points to help you distinguish between a positive and a negative choice. A Negative Option U Is immoral: It has the potential to cause harm, because it has no regard for anyone’s life, property or the environment. Teasing others, stealing and vandalism are examples of immoral choices. U Is chosen out of ignorance or in haste, without getting all the facts to make an intelligent decision: For example, you assume that someone is talking badly about you and without getting all the facts you choose to ignore them in retaliation. U Is showing disrespect for authority: It disregards the position of one who is in charge and responsible for you. Parents and teachers are examples of authority figures. U Is disobeying the rules: Blatantly disregarding the rules and choosing not to follow instructions given. For example, choosing to talk when the classroom rule is to be quiet during instruction disrupts the learning process. All negative choices have consequences. Some consequences can be immediate while others may be delayed and not seen until later in life. Read the following negative choices and use the lines to write the possible consequences. 1. Bullying:_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 2. Sniffing glue:_____________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 3. Refusing to participate in P.E. class:__________________________ _________________________________________________________ 4. Stealing someone’s wallet:__________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 17A Positive Option Brings Rewards X Is moral: It shows value for life, yours and others, and it respects the possessions of others and the environment. For example, accepting the ethnic diversity of others, being honest and being careful to dispose of trash appropriately are moral choices that actually cause others to think more highly of you. X Is based on proven facts: By educating yourself, you can make intelligent moral choices. For example, you learn about the dangers of smoking and choose never to smoke. Setting your standards higher causes others to look up to you for decisions. X Respects authority: Regards the position of one who is in charge and responsible for you. For example, showing respect for parents and teachers by listening to and following their instructions, which are for your benefit, causes others to respect you. X Obeys the rules: Rules are given for our knowledge, safety and to help things run smoothly. For example, sitting quietly and paying attention to the teacher as you have been instructed helps you gain much more knowledge than those who do not. Having knowledge will help you to become an instructor of others. Positive choices can lead to rewards. A reward is not always something tangible, such as a gift or other material gain. Sometimes the reward is simply the satisfaction of knowing you have made a right choice. A strong moral character is the ultimate reward for making the right choices. Making one right choice can start you heading in the direction of long-range benefits for years to come. 18Read the following positive choices and use the lines to write the possible rewards. 1. Being honest and returning a lost wallet to its owner:____________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 2. Not smoking cigarettes:____________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 3. Addressing your teacher as Mr. Smith:________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 4. Doing chores:_____________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 19To Do Or Not To Do... That Is The Question Self-Control Is The Answer Another important aspect of proper decision-making is learning to weigh your options. Weighing your options means taking the time to consider the possible outcomes of each choice before acting and then making a decision that is morally correct, beneficial and advantageous. A proper decision is made only after you have weighed your options. In the following scenario Jason is faced with a problem that will require self-control. Notice how he weighs each choice before making a decision. Jason was on his way to class. The hallway was crowded as everyone rushed to beat the late bell. Suddenly, someone pushed Jason and he fell to the floor. Jason was very embarrassed, and then he felt angry. He thought to himself, “I can’t believe some dumb jerk pushed me down. I’ll bet it was Michael or one of his crew. They’re always doing something stupid. Just wait until I catch up to them.” Then he thought to himself, “Yeah, but I can’t prove who pushed me down. It could have been an accident for all I know. Besides, trying to retaliate will just make things worse. If I find out that someone did this on purpose, I’ll report it. That way they will be corrected by an authority and maybe it will help them to see the harm that could have resulted from their actions.” Notice how Jason took the time to think through each of his choices to arrive at a decision that was morally correct. Weighing your options may seem to take a lot of time, but remember we are the most intelligent species on the planet. We can think at the speed of light. In the long run, weighing your options before acting will take a lot less time than making a choice that will cost you in many ways, including lost time. 20Putting It All Together You are now aware of the harmful effects of negative thoughts. When faced with a negative thought about yourself or others, this is your cue to start practicing self-control. The first thing you should do is Stop! Think about how this can affect you or someone else. Remember, negative thoughts about yourself can set you up to fail. Negative thoughts about others have the potential to lead to violent and aggressive behavior. Next, evaluate your Options. You now know the difference between a positive and a negative choice and how to weigh your choices. Remember a choice is only positive if it is moral and shows concern. Negative choices can be immoral. Now that you know the value of positive choices, you can Proceed by making a positive choice and following through on your decision. An easy way to remember how to practice self-control is to think of the acronym STOP. The letters stand for: S = STOP T = THINK O= OPTIONS P = PROCEED 21Understanding The Main Point Read the following scenarios and answer the questions that follow. 1. Jamul was one of the last boys to be chosen for the debate team. Jamul thought to himself, “Nobody likes me. I hate debate.” a. Should Jamul use self-control?_________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ b. If Jamul does not practice self-control what could be some of his negative options?__________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ c. If Jamul practiced self-control what could be some of his positive options?________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ d. What positive option do you think Jamul should proceed with? _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 2. Monica was upset with her sister. She thought to herself, “ My sister always gets her way. I hope she falls when she goes skating tonight.” a. Should Monica use self-control? Explain your answer.______ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ b. How could Monica’s negative thoughts affect her?_________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ c. How could Monica’s negative thoughts affect her relationship with her sister?_______________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 22d. If Monica does not practice self-control what could be some of her negative options?_____________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ e. If Monica practiced self-control what would some of her positive options be?_____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ f. What positive option(s) should Monica proceed with? _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 23What I Have Learned y Self-control is the foundation of a positive character. y Moral principles are the foundation of self-control. To practice self-control I must stop and carefully consider whether my thoughts and feelings will lead to actions that are morally correct. y Developing and practicing self-control will enable me to develop many other positive character traits. y Self-control must come from within and must be practiced consistently, because I am now accountable for my decisions and actions. y It is up to me to determine if my thoughts can help me build my character or if they can lead to choices I will regret. y I have the power to control which thoughts I focus on and which thoughts I let go. y In practicing self-control, I must take the time to weigh the consequences of my choices. y I can use the STOP acronym as an easy way to remember how to practice self-control. “Taking the time for self-control, to analyze every thought and feeling before acting on it, is one step towards world peace.” ~The Peaceful Solution 24Enrichment Activities 1. Keep a self-control journal. Write down situations you experience and evaluate how well you practiced self-control. Write down your thoughts, feelings and actions and how you can improve on practicing self-control. 2. Watch a movie and evaluate whether or not self-control was practiced. Identify any negative thoughts that led to the actions, and the consequences that occurred. Discuss ways that self-control could have been better handled and what the results could have been. 3. Do the “Just For Fun” activities on pages 26-27. 25Just For Fun Activity #1 Using the word list below find the hidden words. JK appreciate beneficial consequence consistent demonstrate desensitize develop distinguish environment ethnicity excellence instruction obligation organized 26Just For Fun JLORTNOCFLESQLSWSRQMTKMMVNLSOESELFCONTROLVERLLLDOWZVRQPLMLTFOFSTRKFGYOZSFNCRCCEXTLPRNECCOOTOJLLRNTJLPROCNNNCHYFNOFNLFNFTOTPHMOCCKHCTLRCRRKCROOTFYJREOFOZFKNKGNVLCOSLLLLFTMZTBTFELRTEEQRLCTTWKRDSCZSQOXBGLDKHMOZRRMLRHLORTNOCFLESActivity #2 Self-control is written twelve times, can you find it? Answer Key CHAPTER ONE Page 7 Answers will vary but may include divorces, school shootings, STDs, security systems in homes and businesses, police officers and jails. Page 8 1. Speak with an appropriate tone of voice. 2. Take turns. 3. Don’t shove or push. Page 10 Compassion: Answers will vary but may include, self-control will help you think of what the other person is going through and think of their needs above your own. Humility: Answers will vary but may include, self-control will help you resist the temptation to rise up against authority, insist on fulfilling only your needs, and consider the needs of others. Patience: Answers will vary but may include, self-control will help you to maintain your composure and temper when others frustrate you or make you angry. Page 17 1. Hurting someone physically or verbally, being kicked out of school. 2. Damaging brain cells so you can’t think clearly. 3. Being sent to the principal’s office, failing the class, in-school suspension. 4. Being branded as a thief, suffer from guilt and depriving the owner of his money. Page 19 1. The satisfaction of knowing you made the right choice, demonstrates your honesty, relieves the anxiety and fear of the owner, creates a trust for you in the other person’s mind. 2. Prevents addiction to nicotine, prevents the diseases that come with smoking, such as lung cancer and emphysema, is a decision that could lead to a long healthy life. 3. Speaking with respect to an adult, showing honor, the teacher will be more likely to show you respect in return. 4. Pleasing your parents, satisfaction of completing a task, teaches you how to take care of yourself and prevents you from becoming a couch potato. Pages 22-23 1. a. Yes, Jamul’s thoughts are negative. He is being his own worst critic. b. He could choose not to participate in the debate. He may not perform to the best of his ability. c. He could participate to the best of his ability and show that he is a worthy team mate. d. Jamul should control his thoughts and keep them positive and perform to the best of his ability. 2. a. Yes, Monica’s thoughts are negative. They are not morally correct, because she wants her sister to get hurt. b. Monica is robbing herself of the capacity to be compassionate towards others. c. Monica could be spiteful and treat her unfairly and disrespectfully. d. Monica could do something mean to her sister to purposely hurt her feelings. She could speak harshly and disrespectfully to her. e. Monica would consider that even though she is upset with her sister, it is wrong to want to see her harmed. Instead, she could find ways to work out whatever disagreement they may have. f. Monica should speak respectfully with her sister and solve any conflicts peacefully. 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