Natural differences between men and women & marriage.

Explain how the natural differences between men and women can be used to form a happy marriage. Base your ideas on the Qur’an and Sunnah and provide references for the ayaat and hadeeth you use. Bismillahir Rehmanir Raheem! Alhamdulillah was salatu was salam ‘ala Rasoolullah! ALLAH Almighty, has created every human being with a nature. Men and Women, both are designed very beautifully, each one blessed with nature which supports them and helps them fulfill their obligatory duties set by ALLAH in a very beautiful way Alhamdulillah! To seek good ideas we do not need to go somewhere else, QURAN and SUNNAH are best source of guidance for all human kind. Husband should be head of the house and Wife must obey her husband: Men are Rigid and women are accommodate: By nature, we find that men are Rigid when they decide something they do not listen second word, except of that given very wisely. Men’s this nature of being Rigid helps him fulfill his role of Qawam very strongly. As we see in Quran that ALLAH says in Surah an Nisa ayat no 34: Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). And women on the other hand are found to be very much accommodate. This quality suits their role, as they are supposed to be under Qawam and obey him, as ALLAH says in Surah an Nisa ayat no 34: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property).” Women easily adopt words of husband because of this quality given to them from ALLAH. This is one of the keys to successful marriage, in which Husband is head and wife obediently follows his words. Women Think with Heart and men with their minds. This natural difference is also one of the biggest reason because of which ALLAH gives men authority of being head of house. Because, women generally tend to be more emotional than men. So, women mostly make decisions according to their emotions. And being a qawam is not suitable for a person who is more emotional, because this is a very big responsibility and one needs to maintain discipline of house and this might many times involve disagreeing with the desires of family members. Husband should work outside home and wife should stay in house: Physical difference: Men, physically are stronger than women. This is because ALLAH has ordered men to take care of women which are under them. This is man’s duty to provide his wife and children necessities of life e.g: food, clothes, etc. And being physically stronger helps them earn money required for living decent life. On the other hand women being fragile, suits their household duties. ALLAH has also given this as a responsibility to men to take care of women under their charge and has also mentioned this as reason of making them Qawam. Surah Nisa ayat no 34: “…because they (men) spend of their property (for the support of women).” Apart from working, there is also something else to be noticed, which is that women are sensitive and can not resist many things which are outside her house. So women must give preference to staying in house rather than being outside. We can clearly read commandment of ALLAH Almighty, that women should stay in their houses. "And abide in your homes and do not display yourselves as was the display of the former times of Jahiliyyah" Surah Al-Ahzab ayat no 33. Righteous Men also prefer their wives to be away from gher mehram males and spend most of their time in house. So naturally when a wife wills to stay in her house it helps her relationship with her husband getting stronger as it stops most of the cause because of which husband’s start doubting on their wives. Where as, men can not manage to live all of their time in house and it also does not bother their family or nature. Wife should use her beauty to please her husband: Women are more attractive: Generally speaking, women are more attractive than men. And men easily get tempted towards women, its natural. So wife should use her beauty to please her husband in the best way she can, maintaining limits set by ALLAH. Like, wearing clothes which her husband likes on her, adorning herself before her husband comes house and by doing things which please him. For a marital relationship intimacy is really important. Men are more towards physical love than internal. Husband loves when her wife expresses her love towards him and pleases him by doing things which he likes. Just a simple smile of wife can make her husband go crazy. Wife should give her husband warm welcome when he returns home. Wife should be active in sex: Men’s primary need is Sex: Husband is more concerned about how his wife is with him in bed than how she is in drawing room. Men do not like women who behave like a dead body while being with their husbands in bed. So, wife should be active in her sexual relationship with her husband. She should never refuse him when he calls him for sex. “By the One that Muhammad’s soul is in His hand, a woman would not truly fulfill the right of her Lord (ALLAH) until she fulfills all of her husband’s right even if he was to ask her for herself while she is in a camel’s saddle, she should not deny him that.” Recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and others. Verified to be authentic by al-Albani (Adab uz-Zifaf p.84) "When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Husband should give quality time to his wife and Listen to her attentively: 6. Women’s primary need is Emotional: Unlike Men, women’s primary need is emotional. In their life partner they seek a friend. Women love to share their pain and life with someone who is their close friend. So husband should give quality time to his wife, it is not important to give solutions for her problems as basically women like to feel importance, sympathy and care. He should listen to each and every word of wife attentively without any distraction and should make her feel that he really wants to listen what she wants to say. Because, all day a wife waits for her husband to come with whom she may share all her things, all her feelings. So, husband must not let this important point skip from his mind, because then he will be loosing his wife in one way or another. It was the Prophet (salla ALLAHU alayhi was salam)’s regular practice to visit all of his wives every night, chatting lightly with each, before going to the one whose turn it was for that night. I have tried to mention major tips according to very apparent differences and with References from QURAN and SUNNAH. InshaALLAH if a couple follows QURAN and SUNNAH correctly and live life according to that then their married life can be in no way harmed.