People Skills

Slide 1 : Build Stronger Relationships by

Slide 2 : Build Stronger Relationships by Valuing Yourself and Others Gain a greater understanding and appreciation of your own personal style as well as the style of others. Understanding Yourself Discover the unique strengths and weaknesses you bring to every relationship. Developing Your Versatility Learn how to adapt your personal style to meet the needs of others. 1 2 3

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Slide 4 : What You will learn: You will gain insight into your own behaviour. You will gain an understanding into how people differ in terms of 12 categories. You will learn the five key steps to becoming more versatile. What you will apply: Develop an understanding of your own strengths. Identify the interpersonal needs of others. Understand your behaviour and how to meet the needs of others.

Slide 5 : According to a study conducted by the Stanford Research Institute, Harvard University, and Carnegie Foundation: Fifteen percent of the reason you get a job, keep a job, and move ahead in that job, is determined by your technical skills and knowledge… regardless of your profession. The other 85 percent has to do with your people skills and people knowledge.

Slide 6 : Everyone has strengths. a. Build on them first. b.Seek to the impact of your strengths. Find out what you do well and do more of it. The first step in Sharpening Your People Skills is to discover the unique strengths and weaknesses you bring to every relationship. 1 maximise

Slide 7 : Everyone has weaknesses. a. Build on them second. b.Seek to the impact of your weakness. Find out what you don’t do well and do less of it. 1 minimise

Slide 8 : You are most effective when you are in situations that build on their strengths Strengths Situation

Slide 9 : Understanding the Four Dimensions of Behaviour Purpose Respond Initiate People

Slide 10 : Ideal Situation Understanding Yourself Gets things done Persistent Takes charge Accepts challenges Makes quick decisions Solves practical problems Self-reliant Works Hard The High “D” Style–Dominance Tendencies Many new and varied activities Opportunity to get things done Continual challenges Difficult assignments Freedom to act Control over situations Direct answers from others Strengths

Slide 11 : Weaknesses Understanding Yourself Follow-through on routine tasks Caution Details and facts Greater patience Sensitivity to the needs of others Being more flexible The High “D” Style–Dominance Tendencies Insensitive towards others Overlooks risks and cautions Takes on too much Too demanding of others Impatient Inflexible and unyielding Inattentive to detail Resents restrictions Needs others to provide Weaknesses Personal Growth Areas

Slide 12 : Ideal Situation Strengths Understanding Yourself Optimistic Personable Verbally articulate Entertaining Enthusiastic Makes a good impression Persuasive Outgoing and friendly The High “I” Style–Influence Tendencies A friendly atmosphere Freedom from control and detail Opportunity to influence others Public recognition of ability Opportunity to verbalise Positive Reinforcement and praise Enthusiastic response to ideas

Slide 13 : Weaknesses Understanding Yourself Lack of follow-through Over-estimating anticipated results Misjudging capabilities Talking too much Acting impulsively Jumping to conclusions Over-committing The High “I” Style–Influence Tendencies Follow-through on detail A logical approach Concentration on the task Better control of time Objectivity in decision making Pausing before action Needs others to provide Weaknesses Personal growth areas

Slide 14 : Ideal Situation Strengths Understanding Yourself Supportive Loyal Consistent Reliable Agreeable Self-control Good listener Performing established work patterns The High “S” Style–Steadiness Tendencies Sincere appreciation Minimal conflict Security Acknowledgement of work Limited territory Traditional way of doing things Opportunity to develop relationships

Slide 15 : Weaknesses Weaknesses Understanding Yourself Resisting change Trouble meeting deadlines Being overly lenient Procrastinating Being indecisive Holding a grudge Being overly possessive Lack of initiative The High “S” Style–Steadiness Tendencies Stretch toward new challenges Help in solving difficult problems Initiative and change Facing confrontation Initiating more Increasing pace Needs others to provide Personal growth areas

Slide 16 : Understanding Yourself Orderly Self-disciplined Through Analytical Conscientiousness Precise Diplomatic Committed to quality The High “C” Style–Conscientiousness Tendencies Being able to concentrate on details Opportunities to critique Stable surroundings An exact job description Opportunities for careful planning Time to do things right Opportunities for reassurance Ideal Situation Strengths

Slide 17 : Understanding Yourself Indecisiveness Getting bogged down in detail Rigidness on the how-to’s Avoiding controversy Low self-esteem Being hesitant to try new things Sensitivity to criticism Pessimism The High “C” Style–Conscientiousness Tendencies Quick decision making Optimism Help in persuading others Being more open with feelings Developing self-confidence Being more optimistic Needs others to provide Weaknesses Weaknesses Personal growth areas

Slide 18 : Understanding Yourself Summary My two highest scores are: 1. 2. I have tendencies that include: I have tendencies that include: Weaknesses Strengths

Slide 19 : Follow-up List the action steps you will take in your present situation to build on your strengths: List the action steps you will take to develop in your areas of weakness:

Slide 20 : The four personal styles are different from each other in a number of ways: a. The basic motivation that drives their behaviour b. Their ideal situations or environments c. The behaviour they accept and reject in others d. Their strengths and weaknesses e. What creates tension for them and how they tend to respond to it f. Their contribution and value to others g. How they use time and make major decisions h. Communication, Emotional responses and Relational needs. The second step in Sharpening your People Skills is to gain a greater understanding and appreciation of your own personal behaviour as well as the behaviour of others. 2

Slide 21 : Building stronger relationships with those other people: a. Understanding and each of the four styles. b. Recognising that the differences in others are designed to you. c. Being committed to others up by what you say and do. 2 appreciating complement building

Slide 22 : Understanding and Valuing the High “D” Style Basic Motivation Best Situation Accepts/Reject Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Behaviour under Tension Would Benefit from Results Challenge Continual challenges Freedom to act Variety Accepts the difficult Rejects inaction Gets things done Decisive Persistent Insensitive to others Impatient, overlooks risks and facts Inflexible, unyielding Autocratic Listening

Slide 23 : Mindset of the High “D” Style I want to do it my way. My greatest fear is losing control or not having a challenge. I want to do it my way. My greatest fear is losing control or not having a challenge. My ideal world is one where I have control. My ideal world is one where I have control. I like to change things. I like to change things.

Slide 24 : Relating To A High "D"

Slide 25 : Convincing a High “D” Answer “What?” Disagreeing with a High “D” Agree with the vision and test

Slide 26 : Basic Motivation Best Situation Accepts/Reject Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Behaviour under Tension Would Benefit from Recognition Approval New and exciting opportunities Freedom from control and detail Opportunity to motivate others Accepts involvement with others Rejects isolation Optimistic Personable Enthusiastic Over-sells Manipulates others verbally Lacks follow-through Attacks Pausing Understanding and Valuing the High “I” Style

Slide 27 : I want to do it the exciting way. My greatest fear is losing face or not having social approval. My ideal world is one where I have fun. I like to dream things. I want to do it the exciting way. My greatest fear is losing face or not having Social approval . My ideal world is one where I have fun. I like to dream things. Mindset of the High “I” Style

Slide 28 : Relating To A High "I"

Slide 29 : Convincing a High “I” Answer “Who?” Disagreeing with a High “I” Agree with the vision and allow time

Slide 30 : Basic Motivation Best Situation Accepts/Reject Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Behaviour under Tension Would Benefit from Relationships Appreciation Opportunity to serve others Stable and predictable Friendly, peaceful environment Accepts friendship Rejects conflict Supportive Agreeable Loyal Indirect with others Resists quick change Overly tolerant Acquiesces Initiating Understanding and Valuing the High “S” Style

Slide 31 : Mindset of the High “S” Style I want to do it the easy way. My greatest fear is losing stability or losing a relationship. My ideal world is one where I have peace. I like to watch things. I want to do it the easy way. My greatest fear is losing stability or losing a relationship. My ideal world is one where I have peace. I like to watch things.

Slide 32 : Relating To A High "S"

Slide 33 : Convincing a High “S” Answer “Why?” Disagreeing with a High “S” Together

Slide 34 : Basic Motivation Best Situation Accepts/Reject Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Behaviour under Tension Would Benefit from To be Right Quality Clearly defined Limited risk Requires attention to detail Accepts methods and structure Rejects lack of quality Insensitive to others Orderly Thorough Analytical Lacks spontaneity Too detailed Too cautious Avoids Declaring Understanding and Valuing the High “C” Style

Slide 35 : Mindset of the High “C” Style I want to do it the right way. My greatest fear is being wrong or criticised. My ideal world is one where I have excellence. I like to research things. I want to do it the right way. My greatest fear is being wrong or criticised. My ideal world is one where I have excellence. I like to research things.

Slide 36 : Relating To A High "C"

Slide 37 : Convincing a High “C” Answer “How?” Disagreeing with a High “C” Facts

Slide 38 : D I S C Value to The Team Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Motivated by Time Management Takes initiative Strength of purpose; goal orientated, gets things done Can be insensitive to the feelings of others, impatient RESULTS challenge and action Focus: NOW efficient use of time, likes to get to the point Influences people Enthusiasm, gets people motivated and involved Impulsiveness, may not focus attention on details or facts RECOGNITION approval and visibility Focus: FUTURE tends to rush to the next exciting thing Builds relationships Good people skills, good team player or leader May sacrifice results for harmony, reluctant to initiate RELATIONSHIPS appreciation Focus: PRESENT spends time in personal interaction sometimes to the detriment of the task Focuses on details Thoroughness; accuracy in analysing all the data Overly cautious, can be too thorough and lose sight of time BEING RIGHT quality Focus: PAST works more slowly to ensure accuracy A Summary of the four Styles

Slide 39 : D I S C Communication Emotional Response Making Decisions Behaviour Under Tension Would Improve Effectiveness By One-way, not as good a listener, better at initiating communication Detached, independent IMPULSIVE always makes decisions with goal in mind AUTOCRATIC Listening Enthusiastic, stimulating, often one- way, can inspire others Highs and lows, excitable INTUITIVE quick; opportunistic, lots of wins and losses ATTACKS Pausing Two-way flow, a good listener, personable Warm, friendly INTERACTIVE makes decisions more slowly due to input from others ACQUIESCES Initiating Good listener, especially in relation to task details Sensitive, careful DELIBERATE thorough; needs lots of evidence AVOIDS Declaring

Slide 40 : Valuing Yourself and Others Group Exercise #1 PERSON A Value to Team Major Strengths Major Weaknesses Motivated by PERSON B PERSON D NAME: HIGH POINT(S):

Slide 41 : Using Time Communication Emotional Response Making Decisions Behaviour Under Tension Would Improve Effectiveness by

Slide 42 : Versatility = The ability to adjust your behaviour to meet the needs of others. 3

Slide 43 : I can not change others by direct action. The third step in Sharpening your People Skills is to learn how to adapt your behavioural style to meet the needs of others. I can only change myself. 3 When I change, others will change in response to me. 3

Slide 44 : Five Steps for Developing Your Versatility To practice versatility with others: Identify their behavioural style through observation. Focus on their relational needs. Develop a positive attitude about their style. Identify ways your style might cause tension for them. Take versatility steps to meet their needs. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 Step 5

Slide 45 : Step1: Identify Behavioural Styles by Observation Task (Purpose) Slower Quicker Relationships (People) Priority Pace

Slide 46 : Step2: Understand Relational Needs D I S C How to Relate to a(n): How to Convince a(n): BE DIRECT • Start with results and benefits, then provide details as needed • Be quick and to the point • Challenge them Answer: WHAT? • Focus on results, bottom line first • Answer their question, “What are the benefits?” BE ENTHUSIASTIC • Be positive, friendly • Provide praise validate their self-worth • Give them a feeling of “I need you” Answer: WHO? • Provide emotion, be enthusiastic • Share testimonies of significant people • Answer their question, “Who else has done this?” BE RELATIONAL • Use friendship • Be easy going • Be low-key on objectives • Don’t push • Let them respond at their own pace Answer: WHY? • Be warm and friendly with them • Take time with them • Answer their question, “Why do you want to change things?” BE THOROUGH • Give clear facts • Present ideas objectively • Don’t rush • Be specific and precise Answer: HOW? • To them it is important to do it right • Show them step-by-step how to do it • Answer their question, “How do you want me to do this?”

Slide 47 : Step2: Understand Relational Needs D I S C How to Lead a(n) How to Disagree with a(n): GOAL/RESULTS • Give them the what - let then determine how • Let them have CONTROL, be in charge of something Agree with their Goal and Test Ask’ “Why do you think this is the best way? Have you considered other alternatives to reach your goal?” GROUP/RECOGNITION • Consult/counsel with them about ideas, projects, people • Recognise their efforts in front of others • Let them have FUN GROUP/TOGETHER • Doing things together is important • Always maintain the relationship • Let them have PEACE - minimise the conflict GOALS/QUALITY • How to do it the best way is important • Be available to work closely with them • Let them have time to do it RIGHT Agree with their Vision and Time Allow time to pass. They get excited about so many things, they’ll move on to something else Together Take time to convince them that the disagreement will not disturb the relationship Facts Gather your facts. They will not be swayed by emotional appeals or verbal persuasiveness

Slide 48 : PERSON A How to communicate with How to convince How to motivate How to disagree PERSON B PERSON D NAME: HIGH POINT(S): Understand Relational Needs Group Exercise #2

Slide 49 : Attitude Barrier: We tend to focus on the of others, not on their strengths . . . especially those with different behavioural styles. Overcoming the Attitude Barrier: 1. View them in terms of their strengths not their weaknesses. 2. Become a champion of their strengths. 3. Be available to complement their weaknesses with your strengths. Step 3: Develop a Positive Attitude weaknesses

Slide 50 : D Decisive Independent Efficient Practical Determined Harsh Pushy Dominating Severe Tough I Stimulating Enthusiastic Dramatic Outgoing Personable Excitable Egotistical Reacting Manipulative Talkative S Supportive Willing Dependable Reliable Agreeable Conforming Awkward Dependent Slow Retiring C Thorough Persistent Orderly Serious Industrious Critical Stuffy Indecisive Moralistic Picky Weaknesses Strengths

Slide 51 : Step 3: Develop a Positive Attitude Action Barrier: We tend to cause tension in other people’s lives by what we do and what we don’t do. Overcoming the Action Barrier: When tension occurs we want the other person to change, but we don’t want to change ourselves. www.bible.org.za

Slide 52 : If another person is a(n) D Your tendency to over-control a situation which may reduce their freedom and ability to control their situation. Your lack of results orientation. Your being too emotional and talkative. Your reluctance to change and your tendency to be indecisive. Your slower and more methodical pace. Your low risk orientation. I Your concern for results accompanied by a lack of concern for a motivational environment. Your desire for visibility, especially if it reduces their visibility. Your slower pace and lack of enthusiasm. Your attention to detail and lack of spontaneity. S Your not taking enough time to listen. Your priority of time over relationships. The lack of depth in some of your relationships. Your quickness. Your lack of initiative, especially if it means they have to initiate. Your tendency not to let them know how you “feel.” C Your being so quick but not thorough enough. Your high risk orientation. Your lack of attention to detail. Your impulsive tendencies. Your people orientation rather than an analytical approach to tasks. Your desire to be more right or correct than they are. And you are a(n) D I S C

Slide 53 : Step 5:Take Versatility Steps to Meet Needs. Focus more on people Be supportive Be warmer, more open Be less controlling Be willing to submit Listen more Encourage others Be patient Explain why Evaluate risks Versatility Steps for High D’s.

Slide 54 : Step 5:Take Versatility Steps to Meet Needs. Control your emotions Evaluate your activities Listen more, talk less Focus on details and facts Use self-control Slow down Follow through Focus on results Be less impulsive Be more realistic Versatility Steps for High I’s.

Slide 55 : Step 5:Take Versatility Steps to Meet Needs. Face confrontation Be enthusiastic about ideas Be less sensitive Focus on timely results Be more confident Be more decisive Initiate more Increase your pace Be more direct Be open to change Versatility Steps for High S’s.

Slide 56 : Step 5:Take Versatility Steps to Meet Needs. Be more spontaneous Be less fact-orientated Develop relationships Focus on the positive Be more flexible Respond more quickly Take more risks Trust your intuition Be more optimistic Be less fearful Versatility Steps for High C’s.

Slide 57 : Developing Versatility With Others If You Are a High “D” STEP 2: Focus on Relational Needs How to communicate with: How to convince: How to motivate: How to disagree with: STEP 3: Develop Positive Attitudes Their strengths include: STEP 4: Identify Tension Areas My behavior which may cause tension for them: STEP 5: Take Versatility Steps Versatility steps I need to take: • Be direct • Answer “what?” • Goals/quantity • Agree with their goals plus test Decisive, independent, efficient, practical, determined • Tendency to over control • Don’t give them enough freedom and space to act • Be less controlling Give freedom and space to act • Be enthusiastic • Answer “who?” • People/recognition • Agree with their vision plus time Stimulating, enthusiastic, dramatic, outgoing, personable • Lack of praise and encouragement • Too results- oriented • Provide praise and encouragement • Listen, be more flexible and concerned about people • Be friendly • Answer “why?” • People/relationships • Focus on the relationship Supportive, willing, dependable, reliable, agreeable • Don’t take time to listen • Priority of time over relationships • Be patient, less direct • Focus on personal relationships, be warmer and more open • Be thorough • Answer “how?” • Goals/quality • Focus on facts Thorough, persistent, orderly, serious, industrious • Quickness without thoroughness • Too willing to take big risks • Be patient, more thorough • Take more time to gather facts in order to minimise risk D I S K STEP 1: Identify Personal Styles by Observation

Developing Your Versatility Group Excercise : Developing Your Versatility Group Excercise

Slide 59 : For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, For I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for You, for power is perfect in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about My weaknesses, that the power of Christ may Dwell in me. Therefore I am well content With weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, With persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Slide 60 : But now God has placed the members, each one Of them, in the body, just as He desired. And if They were all one member, where would the Body be? But now there are many members, but One body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to The feet, “I have no need of you.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-21

Slide 61 : Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one Another as more important than himself; do not Merely look out for your own personal interests, But also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 So then let us pursue the things which make for Peace and the building up of one another. Romans 14:19 Let each of us please his neighbour for his good, to his edification. Romans 15:2

Slide 62 : Give and it will be given to you; good Measure, pressed down, shaken together, Running over they will pour into your lap. For whatever measure you deal out to Others, it will be dealt to you in return.” Luke 6:38

Slide 63 : “Therefore whatever you want others to Do for you, do so for them; for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 “And just as you want men to treat you, treat them in the same way.” Luke 6:31

Slide 64 : Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure Whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8

Slide 65 : And Barnabas was desirous of taking John, Called Mark, along with them also. But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him Along who had deserted them in Pamphylia And had not gone with them to the work. And there arose such a sharp disagreement That they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed Away to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and departed, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord. Acts 15:37-40

Slide 66 : …for it is God who is at work in you, both to Will and to work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

Slide 67 : “A new commandment I give to you, that You love one another, even as I have loved You, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, In the statement, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” Galatians 5:14

Slide 68 : And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great And foremost commandment. And a second is Like it, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 “This is My commandment, that you love One another, just as I have loved you. greater love has no one than this, that one Lay down his life for his friends…. This I Command you, that you love one another.” John 15:12-13, 17